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The guy may be noncommittal, or worse, in another no-strings relationship.

These letters worry me. They hook up first and ask later.

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They repress their needs and feelings in order to maintain the connection. My concern led me to Hooking Up: Hooking Up is a nonjudgmental window into the relational and sexual challenges facing young women today.

Bogle opens with some downright cool history: In other words, the women controlled the event. Cut Pease MN adult personals a hundred years later: Like the girls who write to me at Teen Vogue, most of the women Bogle interviewed crammed their dreams of a boyfriend jandle casual connections determined entirely by the guys. Susan, a first year student, has a typical story: But I wanted…in my mind [I was thinking] like: I want to be his girlfriend.

You can pretty much guess how that ends up. College students…become sexual first and then maybe go on a date someday.

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Is a world in which guys rule the result of the so-called man shortage on campus? Fat chance.

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As authors like Ariel Levy and Jean Kilbourne and Diane Levin have shown, the sexualization of girls and young women has been repackaged as girl power. Liberating indeed. Incidentally, one of the women smart enough to figure this out just sold her 5 billionth bookor something like that.

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Does that make me a right-winger? I fear feminism has been backed into a corner here.

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What, and who, are we losing to the new sexual freedom? I realize a guy buying you dinner is not the only alternative to the hook up culture and I, like Bogle, am not discussing the lives of GLTBQ students here.

Still, the question bears asking. Is this progress? Girls are no stranger to hook up culture, as my Teen Vogue readers demonstrate.

Will they import these patterns of repressing thoughts and feelings into the more formal dating arrangements that follow after college? Will young women feel pressure not to challenge hook up culture because it appears uncool, unfeminine or antifeminist?

This book opened my eyes to the need to begin teaching girls to pull back the curtain on the all-powerful hook up culture and deconstruct its terms and conditions.

I, for one, am hard at work on lesson plans.

Nona Willis Aronowitz offers an honest and compelling perspective on the importance of learning hard lessons about sex.

Amanda Marcotte sends up a searing rebuke. Finally, blogger Wjo rips me a new one here.

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