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Cleo Stiller was an early bloomer. That influenced how she would come to think about sex—because it influenced how people came to think about her.

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The world recognized me as a sexual person far before I had any of that experience myself. That would range from boys in my class to girls in my class to adults I interacted with.

I was perceived as sexual way before I ever was. She came from a liberal family, who spoke openly about sex at nw, but that didn't protect her from internalizing people's false assumptions that she was sexually active long before she actually was.

It was really hurtful. Today, Stiller makes a living asking people all about their sex lives.

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Here's what happened when we asked about hers. I first learned about sex from my parents.

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They were super open with me, I think partly because my mom is a dancer. So I learned from my parents very frankly what sex was. In fifth grade, we had puberty class, and they separated the boys and the girls for that.

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I knew about periods —by the time we had it in fifth grade, most of us knew a lot about that. I certainly did.

So it was a little bit late on the upswing. Maybe today! Then in middle school we had a unit on sex ed, and I think we ggirl once a week for maybe four weeks, and it was taught by my gym teacher.

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I personally felt like a bit of an expert—not even like Neef knew all that much, but I had no shame or stigma around sex. I thought I was dying. I went to the school nurse and she told me it was very normal.

And that is unique, I know. Buy a vibrator.

Spend time with yourself. You will never know what your body is capable of until you figure it out on your own.

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I assumed I was having good sex because I liked sex, and it took me many, many, many years to know that I was performing and not quite reaching its full capacity. A lot of us don't get taught sexj we should experiment on our own body and ask for what we want. I think sex ed should be taught in school as peer tutorialship.

If they happen to watch Boogie Nightsyou sit them down and put it in context. It would inspire a big brother, big sister relationship, and it would feel more accessible and more relevant to you. Lux Alptraum is a writer, sex educator, comedian, and consultant. Sign up for our Newsletter and join us on the path to wellness.

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Will be used in accordance with our Privacy Policy. Love February 7, By Lux Alptraum.

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Share via Pinterest. Atisha Paulson. Keywords sex ed columnvoicessexmasturbation. Trending 1. Wellness, Meet Czn Sign up for our Newsletter and join us on the path to wellness.