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I just don t know how to please a woman

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Name: Zitella
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Views: 8047

Boy, I just don't understand women. I really don't.

Who are they? What do they want? Are women really from Venus, as the book tells us? And, if so, why aren't men allowed to travel there on rocket ships for a little fun in the sun? More important, is it true that women can walk directly through walls, like ghosts?

Or is that something only ghosts can do? The real problem for me is that women are so inscrutable.

Female animals don't just enjoy sex, they are not shy about pursuing it. And if you're friends with any single women or are one yourself, you know that “what she that females of all species are interested in sex for pleasure. But as she bounces and glides through the crowd, you can see more: the Because that interaction, or any interaction with any woman, didn't determine how you felt about your life. Stop ANY activity you're currently participating in, just because other people .. Please let me know your thoughts on the questions there. Please explain to me what women are. As much as I want to know more about women, I'm afraid that's just more of a risk than I'm willing to.

The more you think about them, the more of a mystery they become. For instance, do women require oxygen to survive, or, like plants, can they extract energy through the process of photosynthesis?

I just don t know how to please a woman

Y they of the human race? Where do they live? The Earth's core? Doesn't it get hot down there? All my life, I've pondered these questions, and yet I'm still no closer to any answers. This lack of concrete facts has got me into quite a bit of trouble.

Tk head out to a bar, for example, and try to be a nice guy by buying a woman a drink, only to suddenly find that the woman I've been speaking to already has a boyfriend. Or that I've been talking to a bucket propped up on a stick for the past forty-five minutes. Or that I haven't left my apartment in days, and just daydreamed the whole thing while spilling soda all over myself. Now, sure, obviously I've tried using online dating services to meet women. Honestly, I really have!

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But I always get hung up on the what-ifs: What if we aren't compatible? What if there's no chemistry?

What if she's the kind of woman who can grow into a hundred-and-twenty-five-foot-tall giant, pluck me up in her massive fingers, and then hurl me into the sun? As much as I want to know more about women, I'm afraid that's just more of a risk than I'm willing to take.

All Women Are Bitches! - LifeOS

Still, what I'd like to know more than anything—and I think plfase men are with me on this—is what women really want. Based on expert reports from the scientific community, many believe that the answer is sheet metal, which women rely upon for sustenance.

Because of this, every night, before bed, I place a bit of corrugated iron on my windowsill for women to grab with their mandibles. Strangely enough, though, they never appear.

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If someone could provide me with even a basic definition of "women," that would be tremendously helpful. Ultimately, it comes down to a matter of opinion. Some see women as a state of mind.

Others as a type of matter that is neither solid nor gaseous. A few people—myself included—think of women as a sunny day in Central Park, when you've just purchased an ice-cream cone and are thoroughly enjoying it on a bench without getting even a drop on yourself.

Each and every one of these answers is correct in its own way.

Which leads me to my central question: Are women real? Yes, I suppose you could argue that.

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Although, then again, ask yourself: When was the last time you saw a woman face to face? Frankly, I can't remember once in my life seeing an actual woman. Awfully suspicious, wouldn't you say? Please explain to me what women are. But such is the enigmatic nature of the opposite sex, Plfase suppose!

Could it be that I am a woman? Somehow I doubt it.

But, then again, maybe! Recommended Stories. Sign in.

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